OOC: Harry Potter Style
by August Sere
Summary: This is a humor fic. It is an actual story; not a MST. Usagi haters and Usagi lovers will probably like it. Basically, this fic makes fun of the cliches and OOC instances which exist within the HP/SM genre. May all authors take note and avoid them!
1. Because she's the Moon Princess! Usagi's...

This fic is dedicated to Sailor Ronin Usa-chan and D-chan.  
  
I would like to remind everyone that this is for laughs, but "at the root of jest is often found truth."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
READ THIS!!!  
  
  
Fic's Purpose:  
  
First of all, this fic is not meant to insult Usagi. I myself am a fan of Usagi-based fics; it is pretty much all I  
write. However, I have noticed an incredible number of cliches and OOC-ness within such fics in the HP/SM genre.  
I realize I am probably guilty of using some of them myself.  
  
  
  
This fic...  
It is an attempt at alerting authors within this category to the existing cliches and OOCness,  
in the hopes that they will steer clear in their own writings. It is a slapstick attempt at making fun of OOCness and   
use of cliches in the Harry Potter/ Sailor Moon crossover fic genre. No I do not hate Usagi. Yes, I am probably guilty  
of some of these cliches/ OOC instances myself.  
  
However, I and a select few other authors are trying to improve our works, and hope that the outside majority will   
take note and do the same.   
  
I do not own Harry Potter or Sailor Moon.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
______________________  
  
OOC: Harry Potter Style!  
Part 1  
  
By August Sere  
______________________  
  
  
  
It was not so much the fact that Usagi was particularly gifted as that she was Usagi. Being herself, and for reasons   
based on bloodline rather than merit, she had inherited a myriad of powers. These powers included a crystal which reacted   
to her every whim, a natural penchant for attracting nearly every male within 5 miles, and an innate inability to stand her   
ground against emotional challenges.   
  
So it was not suprising when the following happened. Not unusual at all.   
  
----------  
  
"Rei! Mamoru!" Usagi was speechless at having found the two in bed together. "How could you?!"   
  
"Well, Usagi... Despite all loyalty we've ever felt for you, and the protection we've afforded you even by sacrificing   
ourselves to guard you, a sudden stir of sexual attraction found us here, together." Rei smiled. "So, you see, it was   
really quite easy. We simply ignored all respect we had for you, all concern for your feelings, and all the loyalty which   
has caused us to willingly die for you on several occasions... And threw it out the window on a whim, because Mamoru had   
an itch." Mamoru grinned at this, raising a hand in salutation.   
  
"Yo."  
  
"Got the popcorn!" Minako walked in, balancing a large bowl of popcorn and a case of soda with her arms. Only then did   
Usagi notice the other inner senshi sitting on a couch in the corner of the room. She gasped.  
  
"Minna?! You knew about this??"   
  
Makoto nodded. "Of course! Now, even though none of this makes sense at all, we feel obligated now to insult you cruelly,   
Usagi, until you either run away, or go through some ultimate transformation which enables you to beat   
us all down. Sorry about all this, by the way. It was either Rei and Mamoru cheating on you, or we all had to die to   
protect you and/or the earth and/or light and goodness," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "again."   
  
Ami piped in. "Not wanting to die, we of course chose this completely unfounded and implausible betrayal."  
  
Minako nodded, and started off with a well-rehearsed speech, speaking drolly.  
  
"We think you are dumb and lazy. You are also a klutz." She appeared to think for a moment. "One of us will make a better   
leader than you, and though we are not sure who yet, it will probably be Rei, as she is the one getting nookie from the   
earth prince." Minako paused, and looked down at her nails.   
  
"In conclusion, we hate you." Makoto yawned, and halfheartedly continued. "Give us the crystal, or die."  
  
"Minna!!!!!!" Usagi screamed, and was suddenly overcome with an obviously new transformation, which was quite flashy.   
When the light died down, there was Cosmos.  
  
"I am Cosmos," Usagi spoke. "I dislike you all for betraying me, I am now infinitely more powerful than you, and so now   
I will strip you of your powers. Not to mention, I have a way cooler costume." She grinned and looked down, before ridding   
the inner senshi of their natural powers. She ignored the fact that she really didn't have the right to take them away; she   
did not own any planets and their respective powers, other than the moon.  
  
The inner senshi- now civilians- gasped as Usagi continued. "Now, I will faint for good measure, having beaten you all   
down, and being unable to deal with emotional conflict..." And so she did faint, waking up at the time gates a few hours  
later. At least it appeared she was at the gates. Yep... There was Setsuna, there were the gates, and there was her queen  
mother, Selenity, chasing... a phoenix?  
  
"Come here you wretch!!" Usagi watched as her late mother chased the bird around, grabbing at it unsuccessfully every  
time the creature flew into the air. However, for some reason, the phoenix was unable to get very far off of the ground, and   
so Selenity was finally able to snatch a feather. With an indignant squawk, the enraged phoenix disappeared.  
  
"Mother? Setsuna? Why am I here?" Usagi ventured.  
  
"My daughter, you have always been unhappy, ne?"   
  
"Well, actually-" Usagi's negatement of her mother's words was cut off by Setsuna.  
  
"You have always hidden your true self, princess."  
  
"No I haven-" Usagi was becoming irritated.  
  
"So, we are going to send you to find your soul mate," spoke Selenity to her daughter.  
  
"What?? What kind of idiotic conclusion is *that*?! You think I'm unhappy and secretive, and so you send me to find a man??  
Do you really think I'm that shallow?" Usagi said, looking disgusted. "Ugh... Where are you sending me, anyway?"  
  
"We are sending you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."  
  
Usagi looked at Setsuna. "Oh, brilliant. And how did you decide that, may I ask? I'm not a witch." She raised an eyebrow.  
  
"We played darts," spoke her mother. I made a list of possible candidates and their locations, and we threw darts until we   
hit one of the names on the list." Her mother scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. "It took awhile... My aim   
wasn't too good..."  
  
Usagi remembered the injured phoenix. "You hit the BIRD??!"  
  
"Only once!" said Selenity quickly, before a look from Setsuna caused her to speak again. "...Twice."  
  
Usagi sighed. "I don't believe this," she said, massaging her temples with her fingers. "Please, tell me you decided  
on the list of candidates more logically."  
  
"Of course!" Selenity chirped, and Usagi let out a sigh in relief. "We picked the cutest ones!" Usagi facefaulted.  
  
"Let me get this straight. You think my soulmate is a cute guy-"  
  
"Always the best for my daughter!"  
  
"-a cute guy, whom you CHOSE USING DARTS?!"  
  
Setsuna frowned. "It sounded better when we thought of it earlier." She shrugged her shoulders. "Too late now. Anyway,  
Princess, here's your wand. 11 1/2 inches, Lunar Tree, Phoenix feather, tears of the moon princess, moondust, and star's  
essence."  
  
"Don't you think that's overkill, Setsuna? All those rare things, just for me??"   
  
"Well, you are the moon princess." Usagi, though thinking that was a stupid explanation, sighed, and took the wand.  
  
"That phoenix was rather selfish when it came to giving the feather, though. He said you shouldn't get everything just  
because you are a princess of the moon." Her mother scoffed. "What does he know?!"  
  
"Now, princess," spoke Setsuna, "Please ignore the fact that I control time and not dimensions, and so none of this   
is plausible, and jump into the portal there," she said, gesturing toward a swirling vortex.  
  
"Why does it have to be a portal??" Usagi was confused. "Why can't I just use the time gates??"   
  
"Because it is ALWAYS a portal!!" Setsuna slammed the garnet rod upon the ground. "Just do it!!"  
  
Usagi sighed, and jumped in. The last words she heard were her mother's voice calling after her, "If anyone asks, just  
say you are a transfer student!"  
  
--------------------------  
  
Now, please write a review. If you want to flame me for whatever reason, please do so.  
If you want to write a "XD" or "ROTFLMAO" or whatever, go ahead.  
If you want to write something else, be my guest.   
  
Please refrain from writing nothing, however. If you write nothing, I may either run away, or go through some ultimate   
transformation which will enable me to beat you down.  
No, I am not Usagi.  
  
  
I am August Sere.  
  
Ja ne!! 


	2. Under the Influence Of Usagi

This fic is dedicated to Sailor Ronin Usa-chan and D-chan.  
  
I would like to remind everyone that this is for laughs, but "at the root of jest is often found truth."  
I would like to remind everyone that this is for laughs, but "at the root of jest is often found truth."  
I would like to remind everyone that this is for laughs, but "at the root of jest is often found truth."  
I would like to remind everyone that this is for laughs, but "at the root of jest is often found truth."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
READ THIS!!!  
  
  
Fic's Purpose:  
  
First of all, this fic is not meant to insult Usagi. I myself am a fan of Usagi-based fics; it is pretty much all I  
write. However, I have noticed an incredible number of cliches and OOC-ness within such fics in the HP/SM genre.  
I realize I am probably guilty of using some of them myself.  
  
  
  
This fic...  
It is an attempt at alerting authors within this category to the existing cliches and OOCness,  
in the hopes that they will steer clear in their own writings. It is a slapstick attempt at making fun of OOCness and   
use of cliches in the Harry Potter/ Sailor Moon crossover fic genre. No I do not hate Usagi. Yes, I am probably guilty  
of some of these cliches/ OOC instances myself.  
  
However, I and a select few other authors are trying to improve our works, and hope that the outside majority will   
take note and do the same.   
  
I do not own Harry Potter or Sailor Moon.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
______________________  
  
OOC: Harry Potter Style!  
Part 2  
  
By August Sere  
______________________  
  
  
  
Usagi woke up a few hours later and found herself in front of an extremely large castle. Figuring walking toward the   
castle would be better than entering the extremely dark forest behind her, she approached a set of large doors at the  
castle front, assuming they were an entrance. She contemplated for a moment, then began to hit the doors roughly using   
both fists.   
  
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Usagi fell forward, into the arms of a somewhat tall boy who looked to be around  
her age. Reacting on instinct, she began wailing, intending to signify her emotional duress. The boy looked her over,  
and intentionally ignoring her crying, decided that she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen, and based  
on looks alone, he'd fallen in love with her.  
  
"Don't cry, Angel/Tenshi/Goddess!"  
  
Usagi sniffled. Up until this point, she'd been speaking entirely Japanese, and had little to no proficiency in English  
whatsoever. However, finding herself at this school where people apparently spoke English gave her sudden and complete  
mastery of the language for no apparent reason other than convenience. So...  
  
"Who are you?" she said, looking up at the incredibly handsome boy-who-had-randomly-and-instantly-fallen-in-love-with-her-  
based-on-looks-alone; who was also known, more plausibly, as The-Boy-Who-Lived.  
  
"I am Harry, Harry Potter. Who are you, Angel/Tenshi/Goddess?"  
  
"Why do you keep calling me that?"  
  
"Well you see, based on your physical beauty and assumed perfection in other areas, I was compelled to derive a nickname  
for you; one which somewhat exaggerates your natural physical beauty."  
  
"Oh. Okay. Uh, anyways, I'm Usagi."   
  
"Usagi- what language is that?"  
  
"Japanese."  
  
"Oh, brilliant! Now, it's up to you, but for romantic convenience, either I or Malfoy can suddenly have complete  
knowledge and mastery of that language."  
  
"Huh? What are you talking about?"  
  
"You seem confused... I will deny saying this later on, but just say "Malfoy." It's better for romantic tension."  
  
"Uh, Malfoy."   
  
"Great! Now, follow me into the Great Hall, where you can either run crying to Dumbledore, ask to be sorted, or become a  
teacher!!"  
  
"Do you normally act like this??" Usagi raised an eyebrow.  
  
"No! I'm out of character; your beauty has driven me to it!"  
  
"Whatever. Let's just go in." And so the blonde followed the boy-who-had-randomly-and-instantly-fallen-in-love-with-her-  
based-on-looks-alone, also known as The-Boy-Who-Lived, into the Great Hall.  
  
As they entered, it was by default that several other boys fell in love with her upon sight. These boys included Ron  
Weasley and Draco Malfoy, and the group of said boys, including Harry Potter, will now be referred to as   
"the boys-who-randomly-and-instantly-fell-in-love-with-Usagi-based-on-looks-alone." Something they did by default, of   
course.  
  
The group looked on jealously as Harry led her to the Professors' Table at the front of the great hall, where Dumbledore  
looked at her, and Usagi began crying.  
  
"Dumbledore! They *sniff* were *sniff* mean to MEEEEE!"   
  
"There there, girl-whom-I-don't-really-know-and-by-all-rights-shouldn't-know-my-name," he said, patting her on the back.   
"Who are you, anyway?"  
  
"I'm... a transfer student. Usagi Tsukino."  
  
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Well, we don't normally take those, much less in the middle of the year, but we'll accept   
you, for no apparent reason. Accio sorting hat!"  
  
A few moments later, the sorting hat flew into Professor McGonagall's hands. The Headmistress stood up, walked to Usagi,  
and placed it on the girl's head. Instantly the hat began speaking to Usagi.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Conversation in Usagi's head (One of the Many)...  
  
"It is an honor to meet you; where to sort you, princess?"  
  
"You can talk?? Wicked!"  
  
"Yes, I can talk. Now, normally I'd say you belong in Hufflepuff, based on your loyalty to friends, but, since you  
are the moon princess, I'll lie and say you have characteristics of all of the houses."   
  
"Meaning?"  
  
"Well, you could go anywhere, but I'd reccomend Gryffindor or Slytherin, as they have the most romantic- Well, suffice  
to say, it's for convenience."  
  
"..."  
  
"Oh well, I guess I'll place you in..."   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!!" yelled the hat, and immediately one of the tables- which Usagi assumed to be the "Gryffindor" table, whatever  
that meant- burst into acceptance cheers such as had not been seen since the sorting of Harry Potter himself. She walked  
over to the table and sat down gracefully. She breathed gracefully, tilted her head gracefully, and looked at the people  
around her, gracefully. And of course, more boys than were necessary admired her beauty... and grace.  
  
Draco looked on jealously. Why did his angel have to be sorted into Gryffindor?! Wait...  
what was he thinking?! God, he needed a good glass of mead... 'I must be on drugs to think  
something like that,' he thought to himself, grimacing.  
  
'But I can't help but love her. She's so beautiful; I won't let Potter have her!!' Suddenly  
Draco realized what he was thinking.  
  
"What the bloody hell is wrong with me?!"  
  
Realizing that he had not only said this outloud, but had shouted it in a Great Hall full  
of students and teachers, Draco had the good decency to blush... slightly. With his  
head held high, he walked over to the Gryffindor table, dropped a pink letter in front  
of Usagi that he'd scribbled to her unconciously (driven by her beauty), and walked out of  
the Great Hall. God he needed a drink.  
  
  
  
--------------------------  
  
Now, please write a review. If you want to flame me for whatever reason, please do so.  
If you want to write a "XD" or "ROTFLMAO" or whatever, go ahead.  
If you want to write something else, be my guest.   
  
Please refrain from writing nothing, however. If you write nothing, I may either run away, or go through some ultimate   
transformation which will enable me to beat you down.  
No, I am not Usagi.  
  
  
I am August Sere.  
  
Ja ne!! 


End file.
